Money

It is a love hate relationship. Money can be your best friend or your worst enemy. It is crazy how a piece of paper can better your life or ruin your life. Just think about everything paper can be...post its, notes, pamphlets, tickets, cards...most things you just throw away or hopefully recycle. Yet, there is one kind of paper that makes the world spin. Money. No matter the currency, the world listens and reacts so urgently when money is involved.

Of all things that have challenged me in life, especially in this past year, money has been my most annoying opponent. I believe the hardest thing about money is finding a balance between understanding its' important but not letting it rule your life. There is such an emotional connection to money. A loud stigma to those who have it and those who don't.

I really want to understand money and why and how it affects people in the way it does. Why is it that whenever I spend money, regardless of whether what I am buying is a need or a want, I feel guilty? Shouldn't one feel validated in buying something that a family needs or in being able to spend money on something someone really wants? I definitely have come to realize that money is a blessing and a curse.

As I keep trying to get my head around the idea that a piece of paper influences my life so strongly, I question this: Does everyone struggle with money regardless of how much or how little they have? Is there really anyway to beat the money fight?

All I know is that the more and more I view money as a way to better my life and the life of my family, I choose to stay positive. And by saying that money can make my life better, that doesn't mean so I can buy all the material things in the world (of course that would be nice) but because I get that money is so vital to survive. If I can handle money wisely, I would love to be so generous with it. I would love to be able to give to charity freely and allow others the opportunity to do things that they may not be able to do without certain funds and finances.

From day one, I have been blessed in life. I have never had to worry about not having food on the table, or clothes to wear to school. I have been able to see some of world and travel and buy things because I wanted them not just because I needed them. I don't think it was until I got married and became financially independent that I truly understood how blessed I have been. I am so grateful for all the hard work that my parents did so I could have amazing opportunities in life. All I wish and hope for is someday I can provide those same opportunities to my family and friends.

I am finding patience in money. It really has taught me to live day by day and not be only focused on the future and what I want. There is a sharp truth in today, in reality. The more I can look reality in the face and accept it, I can learn to appreciate it and love it. In the end, I can't take money and possessions with me when I die, so I pray that I can use them wisely while I am alive to bless myself, family, friends, and others.